War Of Two Worlds
I’m stranded. There are many exits in sight, on either side.. but they are ALL the wrong ones. If I resolved to take one of them, no matter how pragmatic it seemed to my normally staid and calculating mind, there would crop up a series of reasons, many of which a level headed soul would term impracticable. But hey, I can reason with my mind, it’s a whole different ball game arguing with the heart!
Its not too hard for me to ‘be myself’, instinctively do the idiosyncratic things that come to mind, be my eccentric self and wave my fist (or finger) at the old world that I intend to leave in the dust. But the other side is hard to ignore, my ‘roots’, where I came from, my kin..
I, like many from my generation and locale, have been ingrained with a certain sense of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, what is acceptable (by society?), and what is not. After years of not knowing a world beyond this invisible fence, I was tossed into this other world. I have been through the phases, few familiar, many alien.. awestruck wonder, caution, suspicion, bravado, invincibility (didn’t last too long), vulnerability, frustration. But I have come to accept the ways of this new world and with it the receipt of its perks and recognition of its pitfalls.
Abruptly, I find myself at the crossroads again. The two worlds collide. It would seem that the wisdom of these worlds is at odds. I choose to live my life as is my wont, and I stand to antagonize the principals of the old world. I couldn’t live with that. I give up my newly developed ideals and return to the values of yore, and I fear that I may look over my shoulder in regret someday. I couldn’t live with that.
Where is this middle ground, this unseen egress to the quicksand that entraps me? When will this war end?
Its not too hard for me to ‘be myself’, instinctively do the idiosyncratic things that come to mind, be my eccentric self and wave my fist (or finger) at the old world that I intend to leave in the dust. But the other side is hard to ignore, my ‘roots’, where I came from, my kin..
I, like many from my generation and locale, have been ingrained with a certain sense of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, what is acceptable (by society?), and what is not. After years of not knowing a world beyond this invisible fence, I was tossed into this other world. I have been through the phases, few familiar, many alien.. awestruck wonder, caution, suspicion, bravado, invincibility (didn’t last too long), vulnerability, frustration. But I have come to accept the ways of this new world and with it the receipt of its perks and recognition of its pitfalls.
Abruptly, I find myself at the crossroads again. The two worlds collide. It would seem that the wisdom of these worlds is at odds. I choose to live my life as is my wont, and I stand to antagonize the principals of the old world. I couldn’t live with that. I give up my newly developed ideals and return to the values of yore, and I fear that I may look over my shoulder in regret someday. I couldn’t live with that.
Where is this middle ground, this unseen egress to the quicksand that entraps me? When will this war end?
SoleSearching at 11:12 PM
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